empty thoughts and applesauce :D

2010-09-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

so last night, i went to watch the biggest loser premiere. and for anyone that knows me, i am obsessed with the show. i know i am not like big or anything, but the inspiration is just there and puts me at some kinda lame all time inspiration high. (: I mean, most thinner people roll their eyes to bigger people and blahblahblah... which i think is stupid and really shallow. because yes, being "fat" is a choice... but 1) physical appearance IS NOT the only thing that matters when getting to know a person (as i have started in many blogs on my blog) and 2) SO many people have these huge stories as to why they've gotten this way... and pretty much, before they knew it they are where they are now and a lot of the time dislike themselves. which stinks, because the world is full of self esteem problems when it shouldn't be.

i don't know why i never thought of it before, but i think it's mostly because i used to be too scared to start things or even attempt to make big movements towards anything. but even in blairsville/young harris, help can and should be offered to anyone who wants it, or just wants some support in general. and i am not saying i am the most fit or inspirational person around, but i think i want to find/talk to a people and start up a once a week or once every two weeks 2-5 mile walk/jog for people interested in losing weight/getting healthy the right way/just anyone. plus if anyone just wanted to talk to someone, people would be there to support them and listen. it'd be fun. ^-^

and i know i sound pretty lame right now. and i don't even know if this plan is realistic. but if you are reading this, live around blairsville, and are interested in maybe helping me start something like this up for this community. please let me know! I just really want to help people that struggle with this have a solid foundation/start and know that they have full support and are not alone in this adventure to get healthy. (:

2010-09-03T19:34:00.001-07:00

i think it's funny how one week you can feel like everything in life is perfect, and then the very next you can be left feeling insecure, vulnerable, and very much upset.
this week, has been the latter. i've let my insecurities and weaknesses tac me down and get the best of me once more.
this being said... this blog shall be more or less motivating than depressing. depending on your take of it, i suppose.

i think everyone has those days where they don't feel good at anything or good enough in general. that kind of day where they just feel ugly, and like they're just another face in the crowd amounting to nothing. where it seems you're completely invisible and very much so insignificant. and also where you feel like you're working hard to get where you want to be all for some dream that has a 95% chance of never even happening.
I would like to call that a pessimistic day that not everyone has. But in all truth, every single person has been there and felt it before. And it sucks.

So I am going to counteract this emotion I have been plagued with a verse, thought, and song.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." [1 Peter 3:3-5]
As cliche as it sounds, God makes us what we look like for a reason. We are made in his image, so inevitably, everyone is beautiful. Speaking of inner beauty, though. In my opinion, without inner beauty, you've got nothing. You can look pretty on the outside, but without the inside matching... you're just as equal to what you look down on and consider physically ugly. Kindness, love, wisdom, strength, and faith knock a beautiful face out of the water any day.

Song time:

2010-08-22T18:38:00.001-07:00

i've been doing a lot of thinking about the true differences between black & white and technicolor. obviously, i know there is a HUGE difference given the fact black & white consists of three main colors (not including all the colors that consist in making black, but in a physical appearance of what our eyes see) and the pallet of technicolor is close to endless. more or less, it's been on my mind, because i have literally been messing with photography every single day for the past two weeks. (and no, i am not complaining, i love it. anyhow!)

vaguely enough, i have been thinking about how you can apply art strategies to your every day life.

as normal humans, when things get confusing or stressful we always wish everything would be in black & white so we can see the answer behind everything that is making the situation what it is. but my question to you, is would life be as exciting if it was in black & white?

my answer: i don't think so. i believe the technicolor pallet is a sign for chaos, beauty, learning, and excitement. a sign to make us think, question, and enjoy the simple things in life. probably a pretty cliche thing to say, but if you think about it, every day life is chaotic in some way. if we didn't have the chaos or technicolor, we would all be boring blobs. which sounds very dull to me.

yay technicolor. ^-^

2010-08-21T15:48:00.001-07:00

things i have discovered in the past week:

- my relationship with college swings back and forth. from a definite loathe to love, and vice versa.

- i am stupidly busy, yet always find time to procrastinate things. on the plus side, i get everything done by 12am, so i am able to get at least six hours of sleep.

- i am actually pretty good at being outgoing... BUT i am also pretty decent at being socially awkward. xD!

- maybe i'm not as stupid at math and science as i though i was... or at least the beginnings of both classes seem fairly easy with study.

- planners are beautiful things. why haven't i used once before now?

- photography means nothing, unless you put your all into it. really, when you don't try... you get pretty dead beat photos. not that not trying was intentional, i was just running around and wanted to get done with my newspaper assignment.
sidenote: yes i knew this already... this week was just a huge reminder.

- this saying: "color my life with the chaos of trouble." is pretty deep.

- math should not be a required course... this statement is justified by the fact that it definitely brings my self esteem down.

- stupid drivers should NOT be allowed to drive when roads are drenched in water. mainly for their own good... plus the people that can actually drive in the rain, won't get held up by the stupid drivers!

and there was tons of other small things. but i am tired of wasting severe seconds of your life. and mine. so onward i go to do some not so beautiful or exciting, math xl!

PEACE.

2010-08-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

i finally got the courage to take my own advice on this blog, and throw the dust into the wind. for the past 6 months i have needed some form of closure and to just tell this one person how i felt. just to get all things on the floor. and today it occured, when i least expected it. and in some ways, it sucks, but in more ways i have never felt so finally free ever. and by free, i definitely mean... not depressed.

as lame as a comparison as it might be... i have been living the life of tom hansen in 500 days of summer. not exactly, but very close.

needless to say, it's time to let summer go. and move on to autumn.
(i feel this needs explaining. xD the first was referring to summer, the girl from the movie... and autumn was referring to the actual season, not another person.)

i've actually been looking for a change to come on it's own course.. and i think it's finally here. so long depression and quiet person who always hides!
and onward, towards autumn, i march. closure and friends dually noted. (:

2010-08-13T07:51:00.001-07:00

i really don't have the time to be posting something right now... but imma do it anyways. nothing too extensive of course... but oh well. xD

4 days until college starts. am i excited? to see the people, yes. to be so busy that i am literally going to have to use a planner and probably won't have time to breathe, not really... i mean i am, but only for one reason. to distract myself from silly things.

on the plus side though, it looks like photography will be a prime thing i get to do! which is exciting, considering last year... i ddn't get to photoshoot things as much i would of liked to.

hiphiphooray!
and that's all i've really got for today.
so. toodles!

2010-08-06T13:34:00.001-07:00

well, my last blog pretty much failed. hah.
is it that surprising though? no, not really...
life is all about living and learning what works best for you.
in my case, i've come to realize you can't just sit down one day and be all "hey, i am going to change everything about who i am." it just doesn't work.
i'm the girl who cares about people, and even when i am slightly mad/stubborn, i suck at completely throwing people to the wind. in my case, a certain person.
although, i can't say my last thoughts in my last blog completely failed...
i know what i want more than ever, for once.
but i guess the real question is, is it too late? we'll find out soon enough, i guess.

speaking of which, kinda, i have been doing a lot of thinking... and i know i am not the only one who thinks this way, and the idea has been posted over a million times in people's own words. but since i am thinking it, i feel i might as well contribute to the millionth X one time... :D
i find it completely humorous how everyone secretly thinks they will always have this full life to live and can procrastinate saying important things to the people they care for. for example, how someone can love someone from the sidelines their entire life and never let that person in on the news until the person who loved the other person is on their death bed or something real tragic happens, all because the person who loved the other was too scared of rejection. i'm guilty of being this type of person... but the funny thing is when you realize you're not going to live forever... and it finally also clicks that the person you need to tell that something to isn't always going to be sitting there waiting for you to tell them what you need to tell them.
in away, that sounds like total gibberish, and the example was kind of crappy. but i hope that it makes some sense to someone out there other than me.
and for all those who are completely confused by what i just tried to say, in the simpler words of john mayer, "say what you need to say."

goodbye internet. ^-^

2010-07-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

after almost six months of pure agony, closure has occured.
so what do i feel inclined to do? change/spice things up a bit.
working on:
a new attitude.
a new style.
and a new me.
but not 100% new... i am kind of going to fall back on the good old things.

back to caring what i consume. back to working out.
i have felt rather sloth-like lately, and it's purely disgusting.
so. goodbye sloth skye.
also.. i am going back to living life.
because laying in bed watching days pass me bye... is entirely too wasteful.
so. in agreement. goodbye wasteful skye.

oh yes, and as for boys... i am throwing you guys aside for a while.
a friend once told me... "you can't fully love someone, until 1) you love yourself and 2) you're content with being alone"
so in the mean time.... single sounds great. a long with just figuring out who i am and what i really want out of life. so there it is on the table.
i am throwing focus towards myself for a while, and sorting things out. (:

and as lame as this post may seem, i felt like it needs to be posted somewhere where i can remind myself what i am striving for.

p.s. i am going to take random shots with johanna on wednesday... thus, i will be able to post a new post on my new blog.

toodles.

sacred geometry, where movement is poetry; visions of you and me forever.

2010-07-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

i'm not even going to pretend i don't have a lot of things on my mind. because. i most definitely do. that being said, i won't post every thought that is consuming my mind. just the important one:

“The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands.” [grey’s anatomy]

To live or die; that's the important choice, and it's not always in our hands. So what about when it is in our hands? Oh, yeah, I forgot... we take it for granted. Bah. I am so annoyed right now. The thoughts of life and taking things for granted = been on my brain moreso then ever lately. But that's not what I am really annoyed with. I am annoyed with the choices a close relative of mine is making. I know it's not my life, and I can't tell him what to do, but for real... why are you so ready to give up on life right now? why are you so ready to make people that love you live without you? There are so many sick people in this world that are begging to live life for twenty-four more hours... and you're just so willing to throw it away. For what? So you can gets your kicks in your older age, exert all your energy, and smoke cancer sticks. How flattering. I can't be mad at you, and I certainly can't hate you. I look up to you and the role you have always played in my life. I just wish you would sit back and think for five seconds about how the decisions you make impact the people around you. And how it would feel to breathe for 10 more years instead of possibly less then a year. Everyone's right. It's your choice. But please, think about it, don't just make the choice.

and now to make this blog less depressing.
a song:

and some goods news:
- josh groban finally confirmed his new album to come out before the end 2010 with a couple months to spare. not so much a permanent date yet. but they are finally done with the music portion of it and are just waiting for the artwork/packing. so. maybe just a few more months of waiting. yay! ^-^
- i finally got to see megan davis today! for the first time in ages! i have definitely missed you. and i have also definitely missed our fantastic photoshoots.

- tyler ogburn random texted me today, and we're hanging after he gets off work on wednesday. i'm stoked. ^-^

andddd. t-t-th-th h- that's all folks.

2010-07-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

so the 4th of july holiday was actually pretty decent. it was pretty rough at first because i couldn't get my stupid brain to stop thinking about that time last year. but after a lot of talking with my mom and a certain awesome guy named chris ryan, i made it through just fine. (:
although i love holidays with the fam... i must say i always end up feeling like i've gained a million pounds from the food. not saying it's bad... well, maybe i am. i really want to go back to my not diet, diet. the one where i watched what went into my mouth and picked up a bag of carrot instead of some fudge. and the one where i attempted to work out at least 30 minutes a day. i always felt good after that, i have no idea why i slumped out of it and back into my icky habit. hah. BUT! on the plus side... in exactly 24 days... it's been an entire year since i have had a soda. i am pretty proud of myself. (:
for the first time in weeks my head feels clearer than a glass of water and i feel like things are actually looking up. goooooodbyeee shameless moping! (:

college starts back on august 17th. am i ready for it? yes and no.
yes - i have been dealing with financial aid all summer... i am just ready to get there and do what i am paying for, already.
yes - i am tired of wasting days with sitting around and being lazy. obviously i could minimize my lazy days by doing stuff... but i just feel like school will actually motivate me to be unlazy. it did last year. :P
yes - i am definitely ready to see and spend a crap ton with my college friends and sisters. especially, considering all of them like very far away and seeing them has been super limited this summer.
yes - i've superly, duperly, most definitely missed bible studies that took place every monday and thursday. so i can't wait to hit those up again. :D
no - somehow, i threw myself into taking twenty hours in the fall. plus, i am going to have a crud ton of responsibilities, and time management will definitely be key this year.
no - my classes are actually going to be super challenging this year. yay for throwing all my worst subjects in one year.
overall though, i am more excited for it to get cranking again. and i know i can make the best of all the negative situations.

2010-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

" now john at the bar is a friend of mine; he gets me my drinks for free. and he's quick with a joke and he'll light up your smoke, but there's some place that he'd rather be. he says, 'bill, i believe this is killing me.' as his smile ran away from his face. 'well i'm sure that i could be a movie star, if i could get out of this place.' "
hooray for billy joel! (:

so basically i am pretty much going to state that this is yet another pretty thoughtless blog... but really, not too much has been on my brain. oh how i love summer. :D technically, i am just making this an informative blog. what am i informing you... you might ask?
well silly... i am about to tell you.

this whole post... is dedicated to coconut m&m's.
and i know that's lame... but if you haven't tried them, you're truly missing out.
they're freakin delightful, delicious, and down right awesome. :P

2010-06-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

"Boy, you make it easy for a girl to lose her head; losing sleep, and losing time, hey, losers never win. So shake my hand, call it a tie, and I'll call you my friend, but I don't mind calling this the end."

dear allison weiss,
why must you have amazing lyrics and even more amazing vibes?
either way, thankyou for rockin' my world.

& The Way She Likes It album by Allison Weiss!

"you have reminded us that the strength of a kingdom is not based on the strength of the king, but on the strength of its people"

2010-06-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

i totally forgot about this movie until i randomly thought of it on saturday.
quest for camelot used to be one of my favorite movies ever. (:
and i think i am going to run off and watch it after this blog.

so, this summer has definitely been an interesting one. it's been busy and i have had pretty much zero time to be alone and bored. and for this, i want to thank my awesome friends. (: and it's not even halfway done with, really. so i can't wait to see what the rest of it has in store! :D

highlights this far:

over a week ago i went to wonderroot with herbie, bri, and timothy. needless to say one of the most epic adventures to atlanta i have ever taken. between standing in line and getting soaked at the american apparel sale, randomly roaming the streets, reading dirty jokes at borders, or the actual show itself that night.... new friends mixed with old on a mission... equals the greatest time you can and ever will have.

summerfest: the sequel. totally dominated the first summerfest, even with not as great of a turn out and random rain showers. the bands did amazing, and i am looking forward to summerfest: the trilogy. :D

lake day with bri! :D pretty much we went to hiawassee to swim and steffan randomly joined us and we sat in the shallow end in a circle and talked for over an hour. then we went and epicly explored a graveyard behind the towns county school. then we went back to steffan's house and were entertained by the baby twins... that are probably the most adorable twins i have ever seen.

saturday goes country. mmmkay. so my neighbor does this old country/bluegrass singing at his house every single saturday night... and me, erika, and chris attended... it was fun aside from the fact me adn erika almost died of secondhand smoke and old people's dirty jokes. :P

anywho. yes. those are only a couple of things that stick out at this point.... but exciting summer this far. huzzah!

...and crappy blog, i know. but i haven't felt particularly inspired to write about anything. so my update is complete. xD

2010-06-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

"oh gosh this bed it feels so cold, my head was led by the lies you told. but to this day my heart you stole in a bind left behind waiting for your call. fill me up, steam me up, hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out."

i will never fail to ask what makes us tick the way that we do? what makes us determine the difference between right and wrong or pretty and ugly? what makes us decide who is good enough to be friends with us? what makes us like someone, even if we know they are totally wrong for us? what causes us to make these types, or any types, of decisions? other than personal preference, some kind of faith, or what everyone in today's society tells us... i'm not quite sure i even have an answer to any of those questions.
but none of the above even makes sense to the point i am, or at least was, trying to make. well maybe some of them do...
does anyone else find it funny that over 75% of people are more attracted to games rather than the straight truth? we say we don't like being played, but in all reality we're immediately attracted to the drama and challenge of things. not everyone of course, but the majority. for example, say there's this person who will flirt with you nearly every time you speak. and you're attracted to them. but there is always an excuse as to why you and this person can never progress in this relationship but you don't always see it. some would say forget it, but the people who do not give up that easy would keep trying because it's a challenge, or in lack of better words... something you really want to happen.
sure, in this case i am referring to relationships. but this idea can almost be applied to anything.

idunno. i guess my whole point to this blog is that i look at people and i don't necessarily judge them, as i do view them. i look at them for flaws that match up similar to mine. and believe me, i have millions of flaws. but it's always weird to find out that everyone you talk to has one similar problem that will match up with yours. whether it's been in their past, present, or future.

and totally irrelevant to this post... but. i like this band, a lot. (:

2010-05-29T21:28:00.001-07:00

i don't know if people have the giving up feeling a lot... but i know it always manages to come around no matter what i am doing. the semi positive thing, is i am too determined to actually ever give up. the unfortunate thing, is sometimes that's a very bad quality to hold. i mean, of course i give up occasionally... but when i do, it always seems like some huge mistake that was a minor decision to begin with. then other times... i don't necessarily even want to give up or think about giving up... i just want to run. run away from pretty much everything and just start over. which in a sense, comes back to me giving up. so maybe my first statement was kind of faulty, and i semi give up more than i actually think i do. yargh, hello contradictory mess that beckons my name yet again. i don't know. sometimes i wish life was simple. i wish decisions never had to be made, because i always end up feeling like i chose the wrong road... i always disappoint someone. no matter what i do. even when i am 100% certain the road i was taking would lead me in a better direction. but i suppose this is where i need to remind myself... no one's perfect, and no one can please everyone. but wouldn't life be so much easier if you could?

2010-05-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

inspiration to the max - michael ventrella.

before the biggest loser:

the biggest loser finale:

264 pounds in 18 weeks. wow. i knew he was gunna win from day one, and i am glad i was right. :DD!

oh oh oh! and to add to my really awesome mood:

and also!
mine and my mom's work outs/diets start in six days! we ordered this really awesome treadmill that inclines/declines/has a mp3 player/ and a fan. plus, we recently purchased the biggest loser game for wii. yay for healthiness! huzzah! (:

oh yesssssss!
and don't let me forget to remind everyone... summerfest: the sequel is in two weeks! be there... or be a definite square! (:

2010-05-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

dear grey's anatomy, thankyou for having the most intense season and finale ever... oh yes, and thanks for filling my brain with thoughts and making me cry, as well. xD

dear house, you're not as intense as grey's anatomy... but i still love you and your sarcasm. :D

dear cougartown, you're funny. and i am glad jules and graceyn FINALLY got together. <3

dear ghost whisperer, over half your episodes unfortunately hoovered this season.

dear flashforward, i give up on you just as i gave up on lost... shows like you should never try to come into my life... because you bore me and i stop watching you. xD

dear the biggest loser, thanks for being the best/most inspiring/my all time favorite show everrrr! your finale is tomorrow night and i am flippin stoked! i loved daris until he disappointed/annoyed me in the last episode. he needs to go, and koli needs to be the third contestant to compete in the final three. oh yes, and i think michael should win overall... because he is awesome. AND i think michael and ashley should hookup. kthanks. (:

mmmmkay, i'm done. :D

2010-05-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

"you're the one givin' up the love anytime he needs it, but you turn your back and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd. you're the one to sacrifice anything to please him. do you really think he thinks about you when he's out?
he's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes. oh oh. he's been telling lies. he's a lover boy at play, he don't play by rules. oh oh. girl don't play the fool."

ohhh paula abdul. your songs have been in my head the last 24 hours... xD

2010-05-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

"You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears."

i'm pretty positive i am the biggest nerd in this town, and i am okay with that. i never fit in anyways, nor did i ever really desire to. :p what makes me say it this time, is really? i have a love for pickup lines. a lame love. i am pretty sure that i have over 20 memorized and i use one a day. mostly in joking manners... i would never for seriously use a pick up line to pick someone up... because that'd just be stupid. hah. (: nor would i want a boy to use one to pick me up, because i'd probably just look at him weirdly and be like "uh, what's your problem." or "you're trying too hard." ALTHOUGH! I do think it would be cute to have a pickup line battle with a boy.... just saying. (:

and before i run off... this is the epitome of awesomeness. (:

2010-05-03T16:53:00.001-07:00

i found myself having a lot to talk about... even though... I should be studying for finals. *shrugs*

1) Can I just say... this past weekend was one of the most amazing weekends I have had this entire year. Sure, a lot of weird things happened. But dang. Can I repeat it, please? (:

2) I'm currently stuck in the inbetween state of wanting to be bad and good. And when I say this, it's not really a struggle, because I already know the path I am going to take. I'm just curious about the other path at times. Stupid teen syndrome! To give you an insight of what I am talking about... I'm always this good girl who doesn't do anything (well... besides speed) that is illegal. xD And sometimes I just wanna break out go to a party and experience drinking. Then of course, I know I would feel like crap later and probably even regret it. So the fact that I know I would hate it in the end makes me not want to do it. Regardless to how curious and anxious I am about it sometimes. andddd.... that probably makes no sense... so, hello next point!

3) In three days... I am completely down with being a college freshman! And, my grades are all good. Which, completely excites me! Summer... I can not wait for you. :D 1. Beach Bound for a week on May 15. 2. Summerfest (which looks like it will be a complete success, PLUS, me and Bri are having a surprise ending which will be super exciting) 3. Jobtime and a lot of time spending with my BFFE Johanna Burchardt. <3 Yes sir. I am excitedddddddddd. :D

4) Imma post some amazing songs that have been floating in my head the past week!

...and there's like 10 more. But I will stop right there.
sha-pow! :D

2010-04-26T21:27:00.001-07:00

Matthew was a brilliant man.
"Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves" [Matthew 7:15]

I forgot to mention... I updated to blog mobile. So I will be annoying posting on here my ideas and thoughts and randomness as it comes. (I bet all my stalkers are excited about that ;)

2010-04-26T13:40:00.001-07:00

i just want it to be stated somewhere...
you get zero kudos for leading someone on.

just. saying.

good day. (:

2010-04-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

random babble that serves no purpose:

whoever said getting sick was the easy way out, was a liar.
getting sick in college is a sham; if you miss an important day of class you're almost S.O.L. xD Which is why I am momentarily persevering through this.
Pollen thinks it won this round... but pollen is definitely mistaken. Because I am still attending bible study tonight! huzzah! (:

weird things are occurring in my life. i'm making movements for myself.

1) today, i cut my makeup use in half. and next week, i might cut it in half again.
i've always had a self confidence problem... what better way could there be than to not wear makeup, call myself beautiful, and fully make myself aware that i was made in God's image than by going down this road. i don't think there is a better way. xD
2) last week i made the huge decision of staying at yhc for four years. i was amazed by myself, due to the fact i am so indecisive. huzzah!

i love tobymac. seriously. his music is the bomb diggery shindig.
i also listened to switchfoot's newish album, i feel indifferent towards it.

...and now I am going to go work on a speech, write a paper, or.... go hang out with mary elizabeth. probably the latter, cause she's a cool sister, and i would have much more fun hanging out with her than being studious. (:

2010-03-23T18:59:00.001-07:00

i wish i could be juliet and have a romeo, or barbie and have a ken, or be any of the disney princesses and have this amazing prince that will be around no matter what. heckkk, i would even settle for being taylor swift in her music video "belong to me."

i am almost certain that somewhere there is that random guy who is just as ridiculous as i am, the one who can literally talk about anything, one that loves to live life and do the stupidest of things just as much as i do, the one that will go on random adventures with me and call me randomly just to say hello, one that will make me feel solid rather than transparent, one that will make me smile literally every time he comes around, one who isn't afraid to disagree with me but will still support and respect the fact i have my own opinion about things, one that will make me be outgoing and put me on the spot when I am being reserved, one that will open my eyes to and experience new things, and more importantly, one that loves Jesus and would help me grow with my walk with him rather than let me backslide in my faith.

and when i say these things, i am not saying i am desperate to find just anyone to fill my lonely void... i just want to stop picking the wrong guys, and find that one guy God put out there for me. although, i'm not exactly sure that God ever let's a guy randomly knock on a girl's door and say "hello. i'm the one for you." infact, if that ever happened, i'd probably be creeped out.

i'll be the first to admit that i definitely need patience. i'm always rushing and praying to get an instant answer of satisfaction for every question i have... yet, i always forget the fact that God does things in his own sweet time for a reason.

so this week, my greatest weakness is patience.
and that's a weakness i am definitely going to work on.

"let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
Hebrews: 13:5

2010-03-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

today, i am writing a random i love blog. (:

* I love when you have a really busy semester, and you work your butt off... and you actually get pretty good grades. huzzah to self satisfaction! (:

* I love spring and warm weather, and I also love sunshine. I usually get all sad and blah during winter and fall... but as soon as the weather picks up, I am happy all the time. Needless to say, I think my mood reflects weather. hah.

* I love the beach. Mainly because I don't know if there is a better feeling than feeling unstressed, walking the beach with the sand beneath and running through your toes, and watching as the sun sets/rises with your family. (:

* I love hiking! I find it a challenge, because half way through I always get tired... but I persevere, make it to the top, and it's always worth it. Mainly because the scenery is just amazing, and always makes me appreciate what God has made. (:

* I love star gazing/cloud gazing. It just makes me happy. :D

* I love volunteer work. It makes me feel like I am helping out, and is just another rewarding feeling. Speaking of which, last week marked the week I started working with Castaway Critters again. If at all possible I am going once a week... :D

* I like to find quotes/songs that hit the nail on the top of the head about how your feeling. I always feel like I am the only one that can relate to my thoughts, but when I find something that puts it down in words much better... I get a happy feeling. xD

* If it isn't obvious enough, I love photography. I like to know I have an artistic side, and that I can actually capture something how I see it. I also love when people say "I never would have saw that." :D Basically, I could write a book on my thoughts for this skillful craft, but I don't feel like boring you today. (:

* I love my friends and family. I don't always appreciate how blessed I truly am... but really, I am blessed. I have the most amazing people in the world behind me, supporting every action I take... guiding me when I am wrong... and overall holding me accountable for every decision I make. I love you supporting people so very much... (:

* I also love to meet new people. I think it's funny when you get used to the way life is, when you get into this routine of talking to the same people every single day... and then you meet this unique person... and then all of a sudden a new person walks into the picture, and they totally spin your world around with how amazing they are. Just saying. :D

* I love random acts of kindness in general. I like to make people smile, and I definitely love to make someone that is feeling awful, feel better. I'm a random person and I never like having to follow the every day guidelines rulebook. So never be surprised if you're sitting alone in a restaurant and I come sit by you and start a conversation. (:

* I really like books and movies with good story lines.

* I love to learn, and I hate being bored. Needless yo say, I love college. I love how busy it keeps me... but breaks are good too. Well, to an extent anyways, I always get tired of them when I can't thing of anything to do. xD

* I love cheesy people, cheesy line, and cheesiness in general. Mainly because I am a cheesy person in general... and meeting someone that is as cheesy as I am... is just amazing. xD!

* I enjoy alone time. I also enjoy being surrounded by a million people.

* I'm indecisive, and I don't mind to admit it. As weird as it sounds, I am pretty sure my indecision about everything is what makes me 100% me. :D

...and for the sake of whoever reads my blogs, I am going to end my list of loves. Basically what my list comes down to is... I love life in general. And you should too! :P

2010-03-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

this is the last blog that i dedicate for moping.
i will vent all i like, but i will no longer use this blog to feel sorry for myself.

I have been doing a lot of thinking. Too much thinking to be exact. All for the better, though.
I'm full of insecurities. I'm impatient; I want to know God's will for my life... but I always forget that the answers will come in good timing. I don't have a firm standing on the ground; I always have had a problem with letting people walk all over me, use me, then leave. I have trust issues for this reason. I'm the definition of imperfect and at times, I'm not okay with it.

It takes time to realize your flaws, but I have all mine listed down. I know them by name, and above is only a select few of them. I let them bug the crap out of me, and I never strive for change in that sense... even when I think I am striving for that change. Because I mean, if I was really working for it, I wouldn't be complaining about it now... and it definitely wouldn't be occurring. If I was actually striving for this mighty change, I wouldn't feel broken down and ready to give up right now... I wouldn't have (up to this point) been trying to take care of it on my own.... I would have tried to let people help me and I would have went to God with it all.

So here I am, writing down my thoughts.
Today, I know other people care... and not everyone I talk to is going to just walk in and out of my life. Right now, I realize I don't always have to be strong... now do I always have to feel like I've hit rock bottom. I have friends and I have best friends. I have God. It is stated everywhere that he will not put you through anymore than you can handle. It's also stated that breaking down is not a weakness; breaking down is the beginning of reconstruction. I didn't always believe this. But now I think it's true. I feel broken down now, but I also feel that reconstruction - for the better - is just around the corner... and I am not going at this alone. I have my family, friends, sisters, and God to get me through this.

2010-02-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

i've got to have this; i need to get a grip.

partially, i want to be like every other teenager and when something goes down and wrong... i want to be depressed and go out and do stupid things i will regret later. i want to be reckless, and naive. i want to go hit up a party or find a deep distraction that will get my mind off my current situation. i want to feel ridiculous. i just want to be a normal teenager that has no idea what she is doing and feels as lost as everyone else.

am i going to do any of the above? probably not. not intentionally, at least. what do i do when i get upset? i avoid the truth of my feelings and hide behind a series of nice fake smiles, busy schedules, and schoolwork. in a way it's probably better off this way... actually, it really is better off this way....
...but i have a feeling it would be even better if i could just face my problems head on.

message in a bottle.

2010-02-21T21:47:00.001-08:00

the worst feeling in the world is being let down by a person that usually holds you high. to be swept off your feet, just to eventually hit the ground head first. what happened to the person that pushed me forward, believed in perseverance, the person that inspired me, the person who was there and actually cared, the person i allowed myself to trust? hello emptiness. hello new person that knows how to small talk very well. hello person that won't fight for something, because giving up on it is ten times easier. thanks for letting me walk out of another person's life without even one question or word to attempt to stop it. the friendship line is a dagger that makes me feel like a blubbering idiot. i've heard it several times, but not once has it occurred even when i hoped it would. what's worse, is i've seen you use it before... and i know how well it went for you. so in reply, i say i am not the idiot here. not this time. i know how this goes. it's the same story every time.
tomorrow begins a new week. i thoroughly plan to be head strong; to press on. to have the attitude that it does not matter if you care or not.
as used in my devotion on friday... if job could get through his hardships without cursing god or giving up, then so can. if jesus could bare getting nailed on the cross for my sins, then i can take a few hits every now and then without getting defensive and giving up.

2010 was and still is my soul searching year.
so here I go, bring it life...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." [Proverbs 3:5,6]

2010-01-30T21:10:00.000-08:00

5 days of being happy... only to be slammed in the slump, again.

this is ridiculous.

i feel sad, and i don't even have a particular reason why!
although, my head is spinning from a million thoughts and i might be coming down with a cold from already staying up 3 nights in 3 weeks of college. dang you immune system... you've gotta work with me here!
okay, so maybe there are a few reason why...

and although I keep telling myself I am going to act on spontaneity...
I'm going to think this one plague over. *SIGH*

p.s. my saturday is gone... which means one day till I get forced into being a slave to the college again. i usually wouldn't mind SO much... but this week is going to be the definition of hell. xD

2010-01-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

point one:
school is bloody amazing this semester!
actually, it's completely busy and pretty much gives me no breathing time, unless you count yoga on tues & thurs at 9am... oh, and i am pretty positive i am going to die on a wednesday at some point this semester... and let's not forget that i am already hoovering in public speaking... but otherwise, yeshh. as a wise mcdonald's commercial would say "i'm lovin' it."

point two:
i am absolutely determined to stay positive about life for the rest of the semester. yup yup yup!

point three:
i honestly do not give a care how overrated the band owl city is...
this song makes me happy every single time that i hear it!
no matter if i am frustrated, upset, annoyed, whatever..
:D

inspirees of the week:

2010-01-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper.
yes, the trainer's from The Biggest Loser.

They change peoples lives, heck, they even save people's lives on a daily basis. I want to make as big of an impact in someone's life as they do one day. (:

2010-01-07T20:42:00.001-08:00

today i redid my goals for 2010.
i will continue my no soda rule...
but instead of giving up chocolate, i am just going to eat healthier in general.
instead of setting up a million goals that might define me, i am going to do some more soul searching.
i've established various problems about myself in the last couple of blogs...and i think 2010 is the perfect year to start improving.

today i also found a quote that i rightfully liked:
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."

2010-01-06T15:59:00.001-08:00

i'm pretty positive that every emotion i have ever felt just got thrown into a blender and a home cooking lady pressed the button "mix."

i'm skye britni butler. my passion lies within the lines of writing my thoughts down in blogs/journals daily and getting better at photography by the hour. i took a turn from not caring what i digested to becoming healthy overnight. i run and workout every day. and i know where i want to be in the future, but i have not even the slightest idea of how to get there.

i began my journey of who i am now by face planting...several times. i begin my journey from who i am now to who i will be in the future by steps, with stumbles here, there, and possibly everywhere.

my arising problem is simillar to that of making stir fry. it goes in a pan, is mixed around, gets additions of spices here and there, and tada, it's a masterpiece! ...and yes, i did just compared myself to a vegetable of which does not really make any severe progressions.

i feel like i am being smothered by blankness, and am unaware if there is possibly anything else i can learn from this town. by that statement i am slightly torn. on one hand, blairsville is beautiful and peaceful...and very much so inspring in its own ways.... and on the other, i'm 19, and i have parents and various family members breathing down my neck expecting me always to do the right thing. Followed by seeing almost everything and a swift case of wanderlust setting in.

hooray for pointless blogs for the sake of blogging.
and here's a song:

2010-01-01T07:07:00.001-08:00

i suppose this is not an ideal way to begin the new year... but that's okay. i'm not always the most ideal, tranparent person either. plus, i feel it would be more beneficial for me to see my problems so i will know what to work on later when i feel i am making no progress in life whatsoever.

so seriously, i feel like throwing my cellphone out a closed window... but alas, i do not have an anger management problem and can definitely get by with writing this here blog. :p

i shall call it the emo, what i am not too fond of what i feel or do sometimes blog, and it begins with the disastisfied me. and i should put up a warning - it's more of a rant for me... so. if you read it, cool. if not, *shrugs* xD

i hate negative and mixed emotions, and how easily they are to pick up. i hate how over half the time i feel as if i am not making an impact on anyone around me, and how i almost always feel like i am not good enough or worthy to be associated with someone or have something that's spectacular. i hate how i am always striving for some kind of change instead of being patient and letting it just come on it's own natural course. i hate how i never look at my work and am wowed at it; sure, it's a great thing to always look to improve, but i never accept the fact my work is actually decent. and mostly i hate how my brain and personality do not correspond; how my brain is incredibly creative and very chatty, but when i am around most people i sit back reserved and let them do the talking or thinking.

so there it is. there's all my thoughts of hatred that passed through my brain and me on several accounts in the year 2009. but since 2009 is gone, i vote to live in the new year of twentyten.... to gain myself some confidence, to feel enough, and to alter my personality to match up with my mind. to be just as unreserved as my brain is, to an extent, of course.

so happy new year, fellow bloggers.
let's make this year kick 2009's ass. (:

2009-12-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

because i know time will be very limited for me until after news years... i wanted to write a huge blog about christmas and new years. not that anyone will even acknowledge this post... but it'll be good for me to go back and read later. (:

christmas - man, oh man... where to start? i guess on a negative note, i'm so fed up with christmas merely being about gifts and so on and so forth. just being around my family and understanding our support system, and acknowledging the world's beauty and how truly blessed i am is way more than enough for me. i'm just overwhelmed by all the magic i see in some people today. the people that are worth being acknowledged are usually ignored, and the one's that are a waste of time always get the attention. yeap. oh well, tis a funny lil' thing called life i suppose.

new years - haha, ohhh yes. my mind is racing for 2010 to begin! I mean, I am not rushing 2009 away... it's been a good year.
i started dating the most amazing guy ever.
i met some life changing people.
i started daring myself to do things.
i opened up, and threw myself out there.
i began college. - which is a huge chapter in a book to start reading.
my photography improved immensely.
and i realized the beauty of things - and became less materialistic and more open minded.
of course i have had my down points to... but to heck with those. what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, aye? overall, dandy year.
i have a load of goals and resolutions approaching my head.
the main resolution - i'm going to become more healthy, and get in shape... while, helping my mom do the same. to do this... i will be excersising... a bunch. oh, and along with my giving up soda - which i have already done- i am giving up chocolate. omg, i know, right? but i am not like COMPLETELY giving it up... i am allowing myself to have white chocolate and coffee flavors that have chocolate in them... meaning, the main thing i am trying to give up is candy bars. :p haha. <--- it took me way too long to try and explain that. *shrugs*

goal wise... i have a million planned out... so instead of trying to list them all, i will list a few:
- i want to start a dream log... meaning, every dream i wake up and remember, i will record.
- i haven't decided which... but i am going to ponder some more about trying to learn a new instrument. i was thinking about giving the guitar a second chance. but ehhh. idunno yet.
- i am going to get reintouch with my piano... which will be easier now considering in about 2 more weeks or so... i'll be living under the same roof as it. :p
- since i forgot about this goal last year, i am carrying it on to this year... i am going to drink 22 diff. types of coffee. for real this time. xD
- i want to read over 500 books.
- hike over 20 times.
and well... the list carries on... so, yeah.

i guess that's all i have to type about...

goodnight interweb. (:

2009-12-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

2009 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Stayed single almost the whole year?
not quite, at all... :p I have been Jacob since April 10th. (:

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
definitely.

Tripped over a coffee table?
haha, oh yes.

Dyed your hair?
hott pink w/ platinum blonde. w00t.

Came close to losing your life?
haha, yesterday... dad. almost. killed. me. xD

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
no. :(

2009: FRIENDS & ENEMIES

Did you meet any new friends this year?
indeed! :D

Did you hate anyone?
close enough...

Do you have any regrets when it comes to friends?
nahh!

2009: YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
yeahhh. (:

Did you have a party?
indeed!

Did you get any presents?
mhmm. :D

2009: ALL ABOUT YOU

Did you change at all this year?
haha, in some ways...

Did you change your style?
a little bit.

Were you in school?
and college. which is advanced school, so. yes.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope...

Did you go on any vacations?
yeah. (:

Would you change anything about yourself now?
small things.

2009: WRAP UP

Was 2009 a good year?
yeahhh. (:

Do you think 2010 will top 2009?
Idunno... but I do know that the summer of 2011 will be complete pwnage of my life story... trip to England and visitation to Ireland for a whole month! w000! :D

IN THE YEAR 2009 I CONFESS THAT I....

Kissed in the snow?
nope...

Had your heart broken?
not this year. (:

Painted a picture?
nope, but i've drawn several.

Wrote a poem?
only if a song counts. :p

Ran a mile?
mhmm! :D

Cut in a line of waiting people?
haha, yeah. xD

Told someone you were busy when you weren't?
guilty.

Lied about how old you were?
negative.

IN 2009 I..

Disappointed someone close?
probably. :/

Hid a secret?
oh yes. haha.

Pretended to be happy?
nahhh!

Slept under the stars?
no... but i really want to.
maybe when summer comes around.

Kept your new years resolution?
some of them. (:

Forgot your new years resolution?
nope... and i've already started a list this year! huzzah!

Met someone who changed your life? Who?
several people...
"nothing of me is original. i am the combined effort of everybody i've ever known."

Changed your outlook on life?
mmm.... kind of.

Sat home all day doing nothing?
yessss!

Pretended to be sick?
haha, nahh.

Learned something new about yourself?
monthly...well, even daily.

Made a change in your life?
yeahhh... pretty big ones if you ask me.

Found out who your true friends were?
who knows for sure?
but i do know that i know some pretty swell people!

Met great people?
mhmm. (:

Stayed up til sunrise?
yeap! all nighters are great!

Cried over the silliest thing?
haha, oh yeah.

Had friends who were drifting away from you?
that happens all the time, so, yes.

Had a high cell phone bill?
negatory. (:

Spent most of your money on food?
nahhh... i've probably spent more money on books for college and art supplies. haha.

Had a fist fight?
i'm more of a lover than a fighter. ;)

Gotten sick?
not as much this year as usual.
huzzah vitamins!

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?
not quite....
try 2.

Became closer with a lot of people?
pretty much. (:

Lost any friends this year?
well, it happens, I suppose.

..and if you actually read all this...
cheers to you!

2009-12-20T21:35:00.000-08:00

spontaneity is probably the best natural high ever.
seriously... doing something you would not normally do.
it's simply, amazing...

oh roight...
the real point of this blog is...
hello happiness. thanks for kicking idiot mode outta my life once again! (:

and now, i'm off to read another neil labute book.
he's a genius.

2009-12-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

sometimes... i completely despise how the human mind works. i find it weird that we're so easily accepting when it comes to intimidation, being afraid, thinking negatively, and just being able to think the absolute worst about every situation. yet... we are completely stumped to the floor when something good happens or we hear something completely positive for the first time in weeks.

i'm no different from the thousands of people out there.

i'm intimidated by those who share my passion in photography. those who i view to be a million times better than me in every aspect.
but the thing i always forget to remember is... i'm a self taught photographer. i've never learned anything from a class or from being told the actual right way or process to take an amazing photograph. everything i know is from looking through the eye piece, snapping a photograph, and deciding by myself from what i see whether it is good/bad quality or what i even want. I also forget to remember that photography along with art in general is categorized in millions and millions of styles. That every photographer has their own personal style and that no style can not be copied identically, no matter how another tries.

i'm scared of the future...
what will happen after i graduate young harris college?
what's it going to be like to just start anew... a brand new college in which no one i know attends, located in an area i am really not familiar with?
where will i go after college?
will i make something of myself?
will i get that job that i so desperately want?

...seldom do i ever tell myself to just breathe and take life as if i was blind folded. i always want to have some plan or idea of which step i will take next... maybe i need to have a different mindset when it comes to this. the future, is the future... there's no way to prevent that fact. but that also does not mean that i should let the future distract me from the present.

so here's my current goal:
to not be totally naive to it, but to stop stressing/worrying about the future and how every thing will play out.
to stop bashing myself and my work... everyone has to start some where...
and even if it is slow to happen, growth will eventually take place.

2009-12-15T16:32:00.001-08:00

dear scrambled life,
i am ready to find sturdy ground.
yours truly,
skye britni butler.

2009-11-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

All I can wonder is... what makes us tick in the way that we do? Whether it be positively ticking, or negatively ticking... we are on a constant ticking spree, never to be stopped. I believe the ticking is suppose to represent time, but then again... maybe it represents whatever one wants it to represent. *shrugs* maybe a genius will figure it out one day... but until then, hello psychobabble of my inner mind. :)

man oh man... i have so many things i want to say in this blog! but I am definitely lost as to where I should begin... so, i shall ramble! :)

First point. This break has given me a lot of time to just breathe and think about myself, my lifestyle, my friends and family, and every choice I have ever made. In a non conceited way, I am proud of myself. I have finally crossed obstacles that I used to think would always hold me back... and my self esteem and confidence are higher than usual. Thanks to family, friends, recent and past teachers, and myself in general... I'm finally 100% happy... and I like it. No. I love it. :)

Second point. I was dragged to see New Moon today. My mind is completely indecisive about the whole thing. I liked it, but I hated it. Movies will never live up to mine (or any reader's expectations)... I understand. So, I suppose I liked it more than I thought I would originally. Yay for me opening up. But still a part of me really does not like it. xD

Third point. Finals are most definitely creeping up on me! ahhh! xD! But I do not feel stressed at all, really. Like, I have made it this far... and the majority of my grades are A's... so all I have to do is continue being myself and working hard and I will live through finals week. Plusss! After finals week, I get a month off before I start my crazy Spring Semester. I'm definitely excited. :)

Fourth point. I'm in love with The Spill Canvas. Probably one of my favorite bands, hands down. I finally cracked down and listened to every song... all I can say is, "amazing."! Plus! my professor for 1102 next semester is including them into the class! w00t! :D!

and maybe I am not too keen on writing out everything like I thought I was...
so, I will just leave it at...
life is amazing. i love it. and i am grateful...
for you, you, you, anddd.... you! :D

2009-11-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

dear thanksgiving,
i'm thankful for everything.
for the friends who have come and gone.
for the friends who stuck around.
for my loving family.
for my boyfriend.
for the support, food, roof over my head, etc. that allows me to live a nice life.
for being born to begin with.
for every day i wake up alive.
for mistakes i have learned from.
for every time i have ever laughed or smiled.
for everything beautiful my eyes have had the luck to see.
for every beautiful tone my ears have heard.
and for well, basically, yeah, everything.
signed, skye. (:
p.s. you have inspired me, once again, to continue being more grateful for things on a daily basis.

2009-11-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

life is a strange booger... and yes, indeed, I did just call life a booger. Or, a strange booger to be more factual.

I find it funny... how we live day after day after day... and then suddenly realize that there's always going to be that point in time where you are going to ask yourself, "when am I to be the teacher, instead of always playing that stupid, redundant role of the hopeless pupil?"

well, i've slowly comw to figure out.... that that's just it. the answer is infinite.
no one will ever stop playing the redundant pupil; yet, in some ways... we'll always find ourselves being the teacher.

we are humans; we grow, we learn, we change, and we repeat.
the cycle is never ending.
we teach each other and we learn from each other.

exciting discovery? yes, i know.

2009-11-07T20:37:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, I wish I had a personal slapper.
Someone to keep me on my toes... and to remind me when I get off track or when I take life for granted.

Tonight I kind of saw me a couple months ago. Not because I physically and mentally acted like myself from a month ago... but because a couple of girls acted like I used to before I decided to change myself for the better. (Not to say that they're bad or anything, I just didn't like the path I was on.) In a way, it was kind of a nice reminder... a reminder of just how much I hated that specific thing and how bad it really looks on ones overall portrayal. There's no really great way to put what I just said, nor does what I just said really make any sense. But it does to me, so that's all that matters. haha.

Also, I was questioned and ridiculed for why I do not drink soda...Pretty much, I got told that I follow the crowd too much and I should do whatever I want.
Honestly? What the heck. I am not following the crowd when I choose not to drink soda. And I do what I want to an extent... because i mix it in with what I need to do. I don't know why it peeved me, but there's just something about a person that jumps down your throat when they don't even know you. There's a definite difference between jumping down someone's throat and making a general comment.

On the plus side of life, though.... I totally love it when you realize someone is more than just some old friend and that they truly care about what you have to say. It's rare. So, I shall say, I love Lisa Dear a lot. :)

This morning I woke up in a great mood, but it totally shattered tonight.
And I don't have a definite grasp to understand why it did.
So, I am just going to blame t on being tired and go to bed.
yup. :)
Goodnight Internet.

2009-11-04T18:44:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow friends & bloggers. :]

The current "digs" in Skye's life:
Cartel's newest album. Jane Austen. Composition class. Melissa Murphy (not THAT new :p). and loads of others. :]

The current college news:
Well, today I made some decisions. I think tomorrow I am talking to my advisor about Art... But I am almost positive I will be adding my minor, which is going to be English. And I am also pretty sure.... the next 3 and a 1/2 years of my life will be dedicated to Young Harris College. This excites me. Their English department is down right amazing. Hence, the reason I am going to be minoring in English now. :]]

Bahhhh. I can't wait for the future! My goals are still highly set on working for National Geographic. I'm not even sure if it'll even happen. But it's where I want to be less than 4 years from now. I don't think there would be anything as thrilling out there for me to pursue. Following animals, documenting (taking pictures and writing articles about them), and just living the happy life that I've dreamed about for the past two years. :]

2009-10-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

thinking too far in the future is quite overwhelming. one thing i don't like is... i know where i want to be 10 years from now, but i have no earthly idea how i am ever going to get there.

give me a second go.

2009-10-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

my life is being represented by millions of boxes full of junk in a row. i'm left with two decisions; i can keep the junk in storage or i can go through it. personally, keeping the junk in storage would mean... i have a pretty "junked up" (or layman's terms.... cluttered or miserable) and boring life. therefore, i choose to go through it. each day, i am going to turn a box upside down. i'm sifting through, tossing the junk out and keeping a firm grip on the antiques that have meaning.

imma imma a blog-gar. ;D

2009-10-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

When I encounter happiness, negativity always tries to wiggle its way in. Sometimes, it manages to get me down for one night or for months. As it always tends to happen, last night, negativity tried to wiggle its way back into my happyfor14dayslife. It worked, for about... three hours. I threw it back out. I plan to keep it out. Life is way better without the negatives and without negative people. Sure, I will admit, negatives help you learn... but not when it consistently is there keeping you down; not when you turn from being beautiful to becoming a beautiful disaster. I'm over it. For good. :]

I've come to find, it's hard living life daily when you have no inspiration or motivation. And since I am easily inspired, anyways... I will speak of my two current inspirators. I am being pumped full of inspiration by both Alex Lim's photography and the band Lights. :] His photography is just down right beautiful: the backgrounds, the subjects, the emotion being installed to people through eyes. :0! I wanna make that huge of an impact through photographs! :] As for the band Lights... the music is just... amazing. :]

Today's horoscope: Everyone has their own goals and restrictions, so don't be too critical of others.

12 AM Blog. :]

2009-09-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

Wow. Today I found myself embarking on a new way of conversation. I've always been a curious person... but only to the point of where I asked someone what they believed in and had some semi in depth conversation. Today, while talking to random people... I asked their thoughts on something, and then I asked why. I don't know. This semester has me thinking more, curious to learn more, and... in general, more questionable than ever before. Along with this, it has taught me to summarize what I believe in and some thoughts that have crossed my mind previously, and in a way... I feel more in tact with myself than ever before. I'm liking this new, goal based, questioning, and optimistically happy me. :]

Horoscope of the day via facebook: A friend has to be open-minded enough to choose to be happy. You can't force them.

I don't know how... but this thing keeps guessing and generalizing what's going on.
kinda freaky, really. maybe it'll be wrong tomorrow. xD

As for this current weather. burrrrrrrrrrr. xD I must admit, regardless to how much I loathe the getting cold and colder months of the year, it's positively amazing when you can feel the warmth from the sun shining, but not get overheated for there is a constant blow of wind. :D I'm never going to like early mornings or night time though.... because of the fact that... I hate being cold. Jacob however did hand me a Jacob blanket ticket for the season... so, I am definitely going to take advantage of the ticket. :]

chittychitty, bangbang!

2009-09-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

My Horoscope for Today: Let your curiosity guide you. Be open-minded and just follow it wherever it leads.

I like it, I think I might listen to horoscopes from now on...
unless one ends up being totally wrong. Then I probably won't listen to it.

So, where do I start now?
Oh yes, college life is a super busy life to live.

Especially when you want to do nothing one day, except sit on the couch watching the premiers for all the new shows that actually look amazing. But then you realize you can not just sit there doing nothing, because you have three essays to write.

On the other hand, every college student complains.
I wouldn't doubt if I was highest rank in the complaining boat of college students.
But I will say, even if at times there are heavy work loads and you always feel busy... I wouldn't change it. It's pretty motivational as far as not letting you sit on your boo-tay wasting life away, and for that, I'm top notch grateful. :D

Ah, speaking of gratefulness!
I just want to say... I am grateful for everyone in my life right now!
Pretty random, I know.
But I feel as if I never exactly always get the chance to tell you guys what an impact you make on me daily, and how amazing all of you truly are.
So. There's my shout out of the day.

life in general = amazing.
so basically, I have nothing to say except....
huzzah chicken ramen and hello frogger! :]

re-editation.

2009-09-20T21:02:00.001-07:00

the last couple of weeks have been rough.
why have they been rough?
after re-evaluating a million things...
i have found my answers:

1) my transition from summer to college, well, sucked.
summer - i was optimistic.
college - my optimism kinda failed and has turned into a crap load of pessimism.
summer - I had future goals, weekly goals, heckkk... i even had daily goals.
college - Thus far, I have forgotten to make time to have goals.

you can see that to be a bit of a huge problem, right?

2) what i used to play by standards.
example:
i used to think cussing was stupid.
and lately, I have been catching myself doing it a crap ton.

What is with that? It's just harmless words?

No. For you, okay. For me, No no no.

Here's how I am looking at it on a personal level...
I chose to go to a party, regardless to if I am surrounded by people drinking alcoholic beverages... I know that I am not going to join them. But since I am now surrounded by all these people who choose to cuss after every other word, I chose to cuss with them? You see, kinda a bit contradictory of myself, regardless to the importance of a word.

3) My overall confidence level in general.
(this does not need an explanation)

Basically. Here's my updated reminder.
-My name is Skye Butler.
-I'm going to start taking time to step back and look at the big picture.
-I'm ready to work towards improving my self on a daily basis again.
I will do less diving in and drowning, and more slowly working towards the improvements.
-I'm ready for my daily goals, and sticking to my original standards.
-I refuse to let myself be overwhelmed by lameness again.
-High school drama is over; real life is just setting in.

yupyup.
basically this blog was more for me.
than anyone... but.
*shrugs*

bleck.

2009-09-01T17:24:00.000-07:00

i'm sick of people giving up on each other;
i'm sick of hearing everyone argue.
i'm tired of hearing only negative news.

my inspiration and love are slowly drowning in all the negativity that's been surrounding me, and i despise that more than anything.
i am over it.
i'm ready to shine and be useful.
i'm ready to set goals and reach for them again...
as bri said the other night when i was talking to her...
"i'm ready to stop fading into the background."
school has made me bland, packing has made me tired,
and thinking has made me restless.
i'm ready to be as vibrant as the colors i wear.
and i am definitely ready to make something of myself and eventually "get the hell out of dodge."

i'm just saying... i am tired of what's been happening lately.
just because everyone else is all critical...
towards themselves and towards others...
and have giving up on their relationships and friends...
and just because "long distance" is supposed not to work,
even if you are but a five minute drive away.
even if college does change things, and i do get busy...
it does not mean, by any sliver of a chance,
that i am going to give up or give in.
i am ten times stronger than that; i am ten times stronger than you.
and that, i am sure of.

analyzed update.

2009-08-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

college is more or less the most amazing thing ever.

first off, i'm a commuter.
most of the time, it doesn't even feel that way.
I live 8 minutes away from here, but when i am on campus it makes me feel like i am a million miles away. yay for young harris having awesome abilities and being able to do that.
the awesome thing about being a commuter is...
when i get frustrated or tired with this place, i can get away. easily. and for the rest of the day after class. yippee! - - -it's only happened twice in two weeks.

class wise. i'm taking 17 hours.
yay for heavy loads.

Mon., Weds., & Fri. 11 am - 2:50 pm.
*Literature 1101 - probably my favorite class this semester. and definitely my favorite professor.
*Drawing 1 - I like the class, but i go through times of struggling. yay for not being a drawer! Although, I can't say I am as bad as I originally thought I was going to be. I like the professor a lot though!

Tues. & Thurs. 8 am - 5pm.
*Philosophy - hilarious teacher, interesting topics. must say though, it sucks thinking deep at 8 am. teacher reminds me of him & i'm not sure why?: Philip Seymour Hoffman:

*Art History - Super nice professor, but history of art (the material) kinda bores me. So... :/
*Intro to Compp -oder filled. xD and kinda sucks that the stupid class is required. I dun like it a bit.
*Yearbook - amazing class, fun filled ideas, and a great teacher. 2nd fav. class. :]]

Yeap!

So, sometimes I wish I could just fly through my first 2 years of college... that way! I could go a head and enter my photography concentration.

ah well.
I'll deal.

I really have nothing more to add to this...
other than.
I'm flippin excited for tonight, mate!
camping outside of winship on campus! woooo!
only i am not camping...
I'll probably stay outside till around 2. then go konk out in Melissa's dorm. :D
her dorm mate likes me and said i could have her bed for the night. (since she's camping) yippee!

and finally, let me state... I'm in love:

hello.

2009-08-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how everyone wishes to be invincible?

Isn't it funny how we all wish and plan to do a million things without realizing time will never allow us to be and do it all?

I hate time. I wish we could do more in a 24 hour span.
I wish life didn't have its limits, and we could do it all.
I wish we could freeze a second just to do more stuff in a million seconds that would amount to be that one second.

But alas, we can not.
which, i suppose, is why a brilliant person figured out to quote:
"make the best of the time you have."

i've got a feeling;;

2009-08-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not really that positive as to why i feel like blogging right now, but i do. so, i am. :]

today's been one of my first really really really productive days in a week or so. so of course, i feel pretty great and accomplished. i've forgotten how much i absolutely love being so busy that i can hardly think... and it makes me 10 times more stoked for school. but alas, after tomorrow... i still have another week of finding something to do to plow through.

so for the next 2 days, i will be grandpa watching, and essentially keeping an eye on grandpa, more so for night time then day. but... while i've been here, i've already accomplished playing 2 hours on my piano, total. the first hour i spent revisiting pieces i haven't played in over a year, the 2nd, improving... it's rare that i can just sit down at a keyboard think of something that would just sound good and play it. but today, i did. making today... easily... one of my favorite days this summer. just sayin' :]

so yup...
basically, i am just giving a thumbs up on today and it's awesomeness.
and i think that's really all i have to say.

ah yes, and p.s. the acer netbook that finally showed up at my house is amazing. :]]

seriousness goes abrupt. dangit!

2009-08-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i tend to come to the conclusion...
that people do not know what a best friend is.
...or maybe it's just that the meaning has a different definition.

like idunno. i guess it just kinda bothers me:

1) when someone is all "oh haiiiii! you're my best friend. ILY!"
and you've talk to that person maybe once in your life.
i mean, okay, yeah, i am glad you want to be friends.
that's good and all. but what have we helped each other through?

2) when you actually are best friends with someone...
and then you both get busy... and you kinda forget about each other.

3) or when you're best friends, and only one of the people is
attempting to keep up the friendship. it get's boring and just plain old.
it takes two people to be best friends. you have to meet half way on stuff.
you can't expect to rely on one person to try and make the friendship work out.
i mean, what's the point of it? why?

ANYHOW! ABRUPT ENDING ON RANTING!
Because, i just saw these:

It's like a complete NONO. xD They're ugly...
what's next? converse flip flops?
sheeeeeeeeesh.

update!

2009-08-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

I'm here to do an update on my goals.
to add to them.
to show the ones i've accomplished and the ones I am working on.

Goals Accomplished:

- make $500 for 1st semester books.
( i made above that. :) )

- successfully got through the June 17th Wedding.
(pictures weren't AWFUL.... but i can't say they were my best.)

- SUMMERFEST was amazing.
(keep your ears peeled and your eyes open....
the next show is going to blow that one out of the water.)

- Suck up my entire feelings on going to my grandparent's house and playing piano...
and just go play, it's in me, i just have to get over things and move on.
(yeah buddy!)

Goals in Current Progress:

- Started August 1st: 365 days without Soda.
(including sprite! yikes!)

- write a song with Jacob.

- remake and better skofosho with Jo!
(this way... it'll be the best YT channel ever in existence.)

- get together with Bri and plan Starfest.

- less talking words, more doing actions.
i'm tired of telling myself I am going to do something and then procrastinate.

- make the best of every situation given to me.
(i'm slowly taking each piece of info. as i get it...)

- become a more optimistic and happy person in general.

- push away all my differences and dislikes in other people.
now really, jesus didn't hold grudges, and his case was a lot worse than mine...
so why am I holding them? they're stupid and pointless.
(2 down. 3, in specific, to go.)

Future Goals:

- make all A's or at least high high B's first year of college.
I'm pretty much determined, regardless to how much of no social life I will end up having. Especially 2nd Semester.

- set a date with Bri to go around and perform random acts of kindness around town.

- hike slaughter mountain to slaughter gap with Jacob. :)
....which i am pretty sure we'll do soon.

- talk myself all the way through on making myself hike the Appalachian trail with him, as well... just because in the end, i know it'll be worth it. ;P

- I am determined... to one day... bring back the musical Cats to Broadway.
It's too much of a classic to just get retired and thrown away. xD

- Improve my Photography, each and every time I pick up my Nikon D80.

- Eventually get noticed by National Geographic, and get contracted...
so i can travel the world snapping photographs that are meaningful to people.

the blog of complaining.

2009-08-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

either one) i woke up on the wrong side of the bed... two) i woke up with too much bad news being flung at me.... or three) i'm just in a cruddy mood.

like i'm not in any negative about life mood... i am just kinda sick of bad things happening and trying to make myself look on the brightside. i consider myself strong on some levels, but when over five things of bad news hit me like BAM! It's hard to try and make myself be optimistic.

i'm worried. grandfather had a relapse of pneumonia and isn't doing too good. as to where your oxygen breathing is suppose to be 99% or preferably 100%... his dropped down to 88 today, but then managed to bump back to 91. he overdid himself instead of resting when he got back from the hospital last time... so this time they're going to keep him a while. it's kinda... idunno. blah. knowing my grandfather is in not the best of health... especially when i am finally making myself look past and get better with the known facts of my grandmother's passing a year ago.

i'm excited, yet also impatient. i realize lots of change is suppose to be happening... some of it, i am not very fond of... but i hate anticipating it. iknow all will be fine in the end... but i want it to go a head and happen so i can begin adjusting.

and those are the two primary thoughts on my mind right now.

goodbye internet.
until next time.

hello starshine! :]

2009-07-27T15:57:00.001-07:00

Hellooooooo Internet!!! :]

So, yet again, I've had a change in mind set.
But.... I really want to work on my attitude towards life.
I want to be more positive, and in order to be...
the first step is wanting it.
the second, chasing after it.
so here i am... running until i drop, after positiveness. :]

I'm under the impression, that every negative thing has a positive thing waiting to happen and arriving right after. Yesssss. So instead of being all bogged down, such as I was last night, over not great things happening in my life. I am going to start trying to look for the pros, or positives, of why that event is happening.

For example...
My poor car tried to break down on me yesterday; yes, for the 10,000th time this year. And then today it magically worked? yeahhh... needless to say... it's getting ready to be junked. When I arrived home today, my grandfather just purchsed some T-bird back from a distant cousin of mine. within the next month or so... he plans to get it repaired completely, and painted blue. So yes, within months... I will be driving a blue t-bird around. :P

That was a really sucky example. But...
oh! here's a better!

2 days ago at Summerfest, my Nikon D80 was working perfectly. Like seriously, better than ever. Yesterday on Berry campus, i took it out to take some pictures... and basically, it's completely broke.
I love photography, with every fiber in me.
But I have been saying recently I need a break, to get my creative juices flowing again... because the past couple of months people have been stressing me out over photography. So I guess, my camera decided to give me a break. And, I'm pretty positive... I am going to take it. More or less because all the money I have right now is going to college stuff. AKA my books and my laptop, which I am purchasing thursday! w00t!

so. yes. i am going to spend less time on it for the next couple of weeks, while working for money to repair it.... and spend more time on my song that I have been doodling on for the past 2 weeks. I still have a chorus and music to write for it. :] And I am going to spend some time drawing up some plans for the next show! Which I think I already have an idea of 3 bands/people I want to be there. Of course, I am going to talk it over with Bri... since we plan the shows together. :] Oh! Oh! Oh! PLUSSSS! I am going to Castaway Critters 3 times this week and next! Yay for volunteer work. :]

But yay! I am excited for life! :]]]]
...and I got off my point a little, but oh well. It's there. Somewhere. xD

uno. dos. tres. CHANGE!

2009-07-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

so, this year will be a huzzah change FTW!
probably the most change I have ever undergone ever.
and even the worse of the change I know that will happen....
I'm excited about! :D

I've decided. This Year.
My actions will become more than just simple words plastered on the internet.
My goals will be reached.
And my open mind... will be put to it's test on going with the flow.
:D

I doubt you even want to hear about my plans...
and my worthless babble.
But I don't care... it's my blog. :)

1) In 4 months. I will no longer be living in this house... in which I have lived for 14 years. That's right. My mom, dad, and I have decided to move to my grandfather's house, which is just up the road. For various reasons... but I won't bore you with those reasons. xD Pretty much though, we're going to rent out this house. And not rent it a couple weeks during the summer, so we can still have the luxuries of the pool pretty much whenever.
2) I will no longer see the same passing faces in the hall... nor will I even see hallways this year. College is approaching closer and closer. I'm really excited to meet new people. :]
3) I have decided not to get sucked up into life in Young Harris. I will not do what past best friends did to me, I will still be close to my highschool friends. Especially those such as Jacob, Bri, Sam, & Megan. & I know I will make a promise to atleast one of them: Bri, you're creativity + mine = amazing future events! I'm so incredibly stoked for the growth of our friendship. I love you, mam. :]
4) My look is about to get crazy. In august I get new glasses. I know exactly the ones I am going for. And I am thinking I will want to wear them every day! Now I just have to find the super creative hair cut I have been wanting to find. :]
5) Come August, I am going to be more dedicated to volunteer work than ever. :D

...the rest of these changes. will come to be my surprise to all of you. :]
so just wait for them to happen and updates that might happen on this blog.:P

check it, dreck it. let's begin!

2009-07-19T16:08:00.002-07:00

Hosted By:
Bri & Skye

When:
Saturday, July 25, 2009

Where:
Bri's Pavillion & Field!
Byers Creek Rd.
Young Harris
30582

Description:
We are pleased to announce that we'll be headlining the 2009 SUMMER FEST!! hosted by bri! Come out and have a great time!! Bring your friends!! Free!!

Click Here To View Event

:]

2009-07-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

i love just sitting here in a chair
with the window up...
listening carefully as the rain trickles from the sky...
and softly knocks into the wood on my front porch. :]]

upcoming/later in life goals:

2009-07-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

- make at least $100 more for 1st semester books!
w00t.

- Wedding Photoshoot, July 17th. I am hoping to master this one.
...and hopefully I'll get my other lens back.

- less talking words, more doing actions.
i'm tired of telling myself I am going to do something and then procrastinate.

- make all A's or at least high high B's first year of college.
I'm pretty much determined, regardless to how much of no social life I will end up having. Especially 2nd Semester.

- hike slaughter mountain to slaughter gap with Jacob. :)

- talk myself all the way through on making myself hike the Appalachian trail with him, as well... just because in the end, i know it'll be worth it. ;P

- make the best of every situation given to me.
I want to get better at that one. hah.

- make the very first concert me and bri set up a complete success! :D
... and I know it will be, I am going to start talking to local bands tomorrow. :D

- push away all my differences and dislikes in other people.
now really, jesus didn't hold grudges, and his case was a lot worse than mine...
so why am I holding them? they're stupid and pointless.

- I am determined... to one day... bring back the musical Cats to Broadway.
It's too much of a classic to just get retired and thrown away. xD

- Suck up my entire feelings on going to my grandparent's house and playing piano...
and just go play, it's in me, i just have to get over things and move on.

- Improve my Photography, each and every time I pick up my Nikon D80.

- Eventually get noticed by National Geographic, and get contracted...
so i can travel the world snapping photographs that are meaningful to people.

people will be people.

2009-07-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

no matter how perfect you expect your friend to be.
they're never going to be that perfect person.
they're going to make mistakes. they're going to feel different than you.
you're not always going to agree on every single thing,
what kind of friendship would that be anyways?
being exactly alike would be boring.

no matter who you are, you're always going to let people down.
at least once, because after all, you're human.
and that's how it works...
regardless to how much you don't want to let someone down...
you can't make everyone happy; you'd kill yourself trying.

so when you're friend does disagree, lets you down, or does screw up..
you have two choices.
to accept the fact they're human, believe, and listen to them.
or totally hate them and give up/ignore them.

so here's what i am saying.
it's your choice.
what will you choose?

VOTE! :D

2009-06-30T22:53:00.001-07:00

Vote.
Pass It Around.
Make Your Best Friend Vote.
Make Your Brother Vote.
Heckkk, make your lover vote! :D

My Favorite Photo (I've Ever Taken)
Brickfish

free hugs?
mucho thanks?
whatever! :D

just vote a lot...
and pass the news around! :D

do you feel?

2009-06-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

the weight of the world singing sorrow.

there's a grain of sand in the world.

zooming to outer space...
viewing the world as it orbits the sun.
that grain of sand = invisible.

what's my point?

at this moment in time...
i feel like that grain of sand.

insignificant and unchanging.
just laying there on the ground...
being invisible not making a difference in the world.

bahhhh humbug.

life has a funny way of working.
it's almost as if making plans to become better....
to make any significant difference at all...
just the idea of that plan seems so wonderful and amazing.
but somehow, the result of the plan always ends up blowing up in your face.

there's always going to be some little thing that interferes with any plan.
and it's annoying.

so here's my solemn promise.
my goal.
my swear to myself.
no matter what tries to interfere, or what ends up interfering at all.
one day... i will make it to working for national geographic.
i will travel the world with my camera by my side.
no matter how long it takes me.
i will make a difference in future aspired-to-be eyes.

hah.

2009-06-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

when i was a little kid...
i never thought about being separated from best friends.
i never thought about growing up and gaining a lot of responsibility.
and i definitely never thought about being in debt.
man, did i have another thing coming when i hit 18. xD

aye babay!

2009-06-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

so college orientation was yesterday and today.
holy cow... where to start?
oh yeah! so at first i didn't even want to go...
because i was all blahblahblah..
YHC is 5 minutes away from my house...
and the next 2 yrs are going to overall suck.

so... i ate my words a bit.

it was amazing...
needless to say i was hyper the entire time...
and excited, and probably made people think i was freak. xD
BUT!
i met a lot of amazing people that i can't wait to go to school with.
like really, there was about 6 people, that were just cool! hahh.
PLUS!
even if the college is 5 minutes away...
when you're a student on the campus...
you feel your about a million miles away!
idunno, it was just an exhilarating feeling.

at orientation we registered for our classes.
i got all the ones i wanted for first semester...
and basically monday, weds, and firday i don't have to go to my first class
until 11.... which means yay! sleep till 9:30! :D
unfortunately though, next semester I'll at least have my beginning classes at 9.
or i might just sign up for night classes, i'm undecided. :P
oh well. :]
i'm stokedddd!
not like i've said that a million times already or anything. xD

ANDDD... off college records.
I've got a new friend this summer...
she's pretty swell,
and her name is Bri ISbell.

chyeah. be jealous. :)

anyhow,
goodbye interweb.

Oh yeahhh! :D

baby you are the weapon i choose.

2009-06-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

today...
i got up around 5 because of my dog.
i went and got ready...
then i hiked blood mountain with jacob. :)
it was hard. i = outta shape. but am slowly fixin' that.
but it was gorgeous, and totally worth it.
plus i realized a million things.
seriously, he's the greatest person ever. :)

and from yesterday's post below...
that's alll i have to add!

EXCEPT! these things are freakin' cool.

and finally life is making sense.

2009-06-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

i would have to say...
today has been one of the most awesome days ever!

I woke up at 7.
Me & Ellie went to the park and ran for about an hour.
We met Timmy at Wendy's, and followed him and Miguel to Castaway Critters.
we stayed there from like 9ish to 11 something;
walking dogs, playing with kittens, etc.
it was fun. :]
then i went to mcdonalds with bri, ellie, and timmy and got a tea!
then i had to go get a shot.
then i dropped ellie off at home cause she felt sick and hanged with timmy till 4.
now... I'm sitting here. bored.
wishing my arm didn't feel like someone frogged it. xD

but seriously. i got a lot of my depressing/not good enough mood gone and have decided for the rest of the summer that:
- I've been done with Soda... Imma keep it that way.
only sprite, water, and tea for me! And yes, I realize Sprite is technically soda.
but it doesn't count, so sod off. xD
- I'm going to try and run 3 times a week; mon, weds, and fri.
- I'm going to go to castaway critters when I'm not busy...
and make an attempt at least once a week.
:]]

and I'm excited for:
- soon enough: setting up local shows with bri! :D
who btw, it was one of the most amazing kids in Blairsville. :]
- going to castaway critters again to take pictures.
probably going to be next week.
- the castaway critter fund raiser.... just because i know it's all actually going to/for a good cause... and I'm just really happy/excited to be part of something like that!
- the fact my debit card came, and I actually get to use it for the first time tomorrow.... yay for no longer being forced to use checks and getting off my butt... xD
- college orientation. june 12th & 13th. woooooo!
oh yes, and finally! :D
- June 14th! The day I do the most photoshoots i've ever done in a week.
It's actually lookin' like it might be a success!
I just hope & pray it turns out to be one! :D

oh snap.

2009-06-01T12:29:00.000-07:00

my mind has officially been flooded by thoughts.
someone save me? i sincerely think i'm drowning.
i won't mention all of them... because.
well, this of course is the internet...
and an open site... and people i wouldn't want reading it...
well. with my luck, would end up reading it.

so first off! the good!
- me and my dad had a lot of bonding time today.
it was fun and went well...
overall, i feel pretty dang accomplished.
compared to every other day of summer thus far.
- i spent all weekend with ellie.
it was amazing. :]
- we rented 4 movies.
so far: the uninvited (2009 make)
was totally worth getting. it was down right amazing. :)
and I actually didn't get the ending right from the beginning.
seriously. shocking. haha.
then we got the omen... the new one.
the remake of the remake. wooo!
it was more decent then i thought it had the capability of being.
but the ending made me really mad. xD
we also rented the 3rd(?) underworld and the curious case of benjamin button.
though i have seen the 2nd one and loved it,
i am waiting on my dad to hurry up with whatever he is doing now...
so i can watch underworld. :]
OH! but speaking of movies! me, ellie, and dad saw star trek.
freakin awesome! :]]
i am determined to learn that live long and prosper sign before i die. xD

now for the not necessarily bad, and bad part of this blog!
wheeeee!
- i'm thinking about interning/ or trying to get an internship for the local paper.
yup. 2nd summer in a row it's actually crossed my mind.
i know i need a job, and i would kinda enjoy that...
but so many pros & cons to weigh out/argue with myself about!
then again... i could just go for it...
and if i hate it, quit.
simple enough. :/
blah. stupid magical plethora of thoughts in my head. xD
- i kinda just want to feel like i am making good decisions in general...
i hate being unsure of myself. it's really a bummer.
- the worst thing that happened, though:
my CREEPY uncle randomly walked into my house at 8am.
and woke me and ellie up by just sitting in the chair
and making noises until we got up....
he creeps me out and has been coming up way too often. :/
- may this be the rest of space that i can't mention for various reasons.

hokay. done. :]
i almost feel better. xD
chyeah! anywho. i'll stop boring you...
if you were indeed bored enough to start reading this post to begin with.

hah!

2009-05-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

okay. I will not let my tired feelings take over my mood.
so...
here's a blast from the past. :]

indecision.

2009-05-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

so I keep flip-flopping from liking reading to being bored with it.
indecision? maybe? maybe not?
really though, it's probably not the reading at all.
I think what I am trying to say is, it has to be interesting...
or at least catch my interest in some form for me to want to read it.

but considering everything I just typed above was pointless...
...haha...
for the last 2 days, I have been roaming around reading
blogs, quotes, and other inspirational things of the such.

not so much because I want to see what was up in everyone's lives...
okay, so maybe partially for that reason...
but mostly because I wanted to see what, well, I don't even know really.
but by reading others thoughts, it made me think...
and form opinions of my own about a variety of topics.
like some topics I haven't really even considered...
or at least thought about thinking about in a great while.

Kinda cool.
anywho. yeah. this post is pointless, yo.
So I shall bid thine ado. :]

PS. While roaming blogs, I found this from Dakota's blog.
I like it. a lot. :]

sleep, eat, repeat.

2009-05-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

stop. reflect. what do you see?
a world portraying beauty?
or a mass chaotic stressful mess?

seriously, the more I ponder on the matter
the more evident things become.
what is the matter you may find yourself asking.

well. humans, for starters.
the things we get caught up on.
our images, our income, our grades, our relationship status'.
all the things that shouldn't matter as much as other things.
material items that won't amount to anything after this life.

what's become of dreams/goals for ones self, inner beauty, personality...
things as great as love or as small but namely as great as laughter.
experiences and lasting impacts that can't be bought or sold for a price...

Just saying.
Maybe we all stress for nothing.
What's really important to you?

well, well.

2009-05-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

I'm no longer a senior at union county high school.
I'm a freshman at young harris college! :]

Graduation was weird.
It didn't feel as special as some say or sad to me,
then again it hasn't completely and totally hit me yet.
I mean I was sad for 5 seconds, then I got excited.
I don't know... my time has just come.
I'm ready to move on to better and bigger things! :]

The Truth Is...

2009-05-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

Five more days till I am outta school.
minus bits and ends.

Two Weeks Until Summer Break Starts.

Four Months Till College.

:D

all i have to say is...

2009-04-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

prom was amazing!
AND
yay for Spring Break just beginning!
:D

I don't get you; I can't forget what you've forgotten.

2009-03-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

Updates:

- A boy has completely stolen my attention.
give it back? or not. :P
- I got my Prom Dress.
and prom plans are coming along... slowly.
But I have a feeling that night is going to be a blast.
- Senior Year is flying by. I love it.
- I'm currently making all A's.
- I've finally decided what I really want to be.
- I got accepted to SCAD...
but I am thinking... I don't really want to go.
Due to... some current hates and annoyances with them.
So I might just go to YHC for 2 years... and transfer to
The Art Institute of Atlanta. I'm not totally sure yet, though.
- I've come to the conclusion. I have the best friends EVER.
and I don't thank them for being there as much as I should.
I need to work on being more grateful.
- I finally conformed. My brother gave me his Ipod and got a new one.
- I'm currently addicted to:
Ghost Whisperer, Cheese Fries, Sweet Tea, Oldish music.
- I've decided learning life lessons sometimes suck.
But they're totally worth learning.
- The past couple of weeks... I grew backbone/an actual spine.
I told people off that only broght me down... and I canceled plans increasing my haters club. :P But it was deinfitely a neccessity.
- My brother Jonathan came home Friday morning... I've spent the entire weekend with him, Ellie, and my mom... It's been a blast. :)

and... I think that's about it.
so. goodbye. :)

I'll admit it.

2009-03-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'm boring.

:P

:]

2009-03-02T15:36:00.000-08:00

Life is a weird problematic thing when you overanalyze it.

But when you sit back, things don't seem as bad...
I like it that way. :]

and another song caught my attention...
even though I hate HSM.

Lights will guide you home...

2009-02-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

"and ignite your bones and I will try...to fix you."

So I am not going to lie, the whole daily babble thing is really fun. I doubt I could carry it on a whole month though, because I am always clueless as of what to say.

Currently: I am suffering with 1) some kinda scratch or something in my ear... so I have to put peroxide in it and hear it bubble for like 10 minutes (which is annoying) 2) swollen tonsils... which leads me to believe I am going to be getting those suckers out within a year 3) some kinda hole/blister thing in my mouth (They suck. A long with gargling saltwater) 4) sleep deprivation and finally, 5) best friend withdrawals.

Saying 5, the blog from yesterday is still not resolved.
Ehhh. idunnowhattodo!

So I'll leave with a song.

story books full of fairy tales...

2009-02-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

"...of kings and queens and the bluest skies. my heart is torn just in knowing; you'll someday see the truth from lies."

Ah. I don't know what to say, other than warn you this post is a vent. And it being a vent from me, 1) It probably won't make ANY sense and 2) You probably won't care. So Yup.

Conforming happens. You can try to say you're the nonconformist as much as you want, but eventually, in some way... you will conform. Some of the conforming could be bad mistakes, that you probably will regret, or at least learn from. Some may be the slightest thing that could hardly make a difference. Others will be a mixture of both; something that seems small at first, but then ends up being a lot bigger than expected in the end. Yes. About the last one... they are the ones that suck worst, and make you pay up full consequence. But because it starts small and happens all of the time, no one really expects it until BAM! One Day. Huge Mess.

An example (and I don't give a care who you are, you know it has happened at least once in your life): When a friend that normally does not tell anyone anything involving themselves, but finally trusts you (because afterall you are "suppose" to be their best friend) enough to tell you a secret. Then the next day you hang with another person that is just as close to you... and they ask you about hanging out with the person the other day, and etc, etc. and then that secret just comes out somehow...and it happening so often, you don't really think anything of it, until you dully realize what happened, but because you trust this other person to be your best friend and believe they won't tell anyone, it doesn't seem so bad.... but THEN a week or so later... like 30 other people know about that secret. Yeah. Bad stuff. What's worse is: when the friend who originally told you the secret has no idea that secret got out, but then somehow upsets you. Then, while you're upset, other people are talking about him/her's secret and being all judgemental and crap, but you're just too upset at that person to defend them.

Overall, just to be honest, I would say you are a really bad friend to begin with. The person trusted you enough to tell you.... and you just pretty much took a gun to their head and went BANG! Yes, maybe people do make mistakes. But. gr.

Needless to say, in this situation... I am the bad friend.

I negligently hurt someone close to me, because they hurt me to start with, and I was too self absorbed by my feelings to stop people from talking about them and stand up for my friend.

And now, I have no idea how to fix the mess between me and them.
I've tried talking to them, but each attempt pretty much failed.
Even though, I don't really blame them for not wanting to talk to me.

So yeah, nice abruptedly ended rant... hah.

dear god.

2009-02-25T20:36:00.001-08:00

Seriously?

Is this a curse because of something I've done?
OR
is it merely a test of strength?

*sigh*

Why do some things have to be hard?

Why can't I just drop it and go on with my life?

Truly, I'm pathetic.

what I think when I do homework?

2009-02-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

The concept of perception intrigues me.

You could think about it for hours on end, and only confuse yourself more and more. Oh the complexities of the human mind. Gotta love it. :)

I don't know why I really started thinking about it. It's just one of those deep topics you ponder in your head at the most random of times, such as sitting on the computer doing Economic Essential Questions and listening to the P.S. I Love You Soundtrack. :P

Take a case of a shooting incident into consideration. Two men get into an argument. The one who gets shot, pretty much asks for it by egging the other man on to the point of insanity over some strange extreme topic of top notch importance to the shooter. (example inside an example: the man who gets shot, slept with the shooters wife)

Would it really be the shooters fault for losing self control?
Or the one who got shot for egging it all on to begin with?

To me, it comes down to what you believe. What you would have done, knowing yourself like you do, in the shooters shoes. AKA. It all comes down to how you perceive this situation.

Some would say, the one who got shot, deserved everything he got. Afterall he didn't die, right?

Others would take the one shot's side, and bash the shooter for lack of self control and reason.

I still don't know why I am writing about this topic.
Random thoughts get me no where... haha.
I just find it amazing. :)

they asked if I wanted to meet my meat.

2009-02-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

No. Why on Earth would *I* of ALL people WANT to meet my meat. If I met it, I wouldn't want to eat it. Which is exactly the point of why they want me to meet it. And unlike the vast majority of people just going along with vegetarianism in my town(AKA being poser whores)... because it's some cool "fad" INSTEAD of being original and doing something because they actually like the idea of it or whatever... I eat meat. So no thankyou stupid media, I would not like to "meet my meat". IN FACT! I would like to go buy a nice cheeseburger meal from Wendy's and take a bite. :]

I had a good idea what to write about...

2009-02-14T19:49:00.001-08:00

....then I lost it.

College. Blah. Blah. Blah.

2009-02-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

Ugh. So basically. I sent my stuff into SCAD Friday. ah! I am a one hundred percent nervous wreck. :P I really want to get in really, really, really bad. haha. And picking my top 20 photographs was really hard... I just hope they think my work has potential to get better. *crosses fingers for the best*

And my worries with rooming with whoever I do end up rooming with on Senior Trip has completely vanished. I kinda in a way hope I at least room with Erika. Idk, I guess it's because we have went on tons of trips together, so it wouldn't be SO bad. :D
Either way, if it ends up me having to get to reknow some people in my class. So be it. I'm ready for anything. :D
Speaking of which, anyone want to buy krispy creme donuts or coffee? Or know anyone at all that would be interested? I really need to sale some so I don't have to take $125 outta meh broke pocket. :P

Regardless to the paragraph above, I have a count down till graduation day. I can't wait. :D

I've just wasted. 1000000000000000000000000000000 seconds of your life.

2009-02-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

So I've decided...
a day is exactly what you make it.

You wake up happy, you'll have a good day.
You wake up sad, you'll have a bad day.
You wake up mad, you'll probably have a bad day.

Then again there is always exceptions to everything.
The exception to this concept is: people.

but then again is it?

because if you think about it....
The day is what you make it.
If you decide to let stupid people bother you and make you mad.
Then you have basically decided to have a bad day.

Life is about choices.
No one said life was easy or fair.

:P

Anyhowwww. Straying away from that.
hurrrrs meh update.

Prom is April 4th.
Johanna is acting kinda depressing which makes me depressed.
hah. (concept above) ANYWAYS. Yeah. She is talking all college life.
And why waste money on a dress when she has money to spend on other things.
And how no one is gunna be there.... because it is the weekend before spring break.
She has a point... I guess... But I think I am still gunna go.
I have no life. I like getting "dolled up". And. I don't care. :P
But then I might not go... GR INDECISION. I HATE YOU.
xD

Oh yes, I am going on Senior Trip.
I have no idea why; but I think I'll have fun.
I'm pretty positive I am rooming with:
Katie, Rachel, and Jo.
But in a way... I am kinda worried about that.
I mean, I don't want to room with weird people.
PLUS.
They have been my best friends forever.
But things have gotten weird between us this year.
I think it's a thing called never seeing them....
which kinda sucks... because I don't want to feel awkward around them.
It's just kinda like... They got in classes together a lot this entire year.
And I have kinda been the outcast of the group...
plus they are all going to the same college next year...
which doesn't help the outcast effect at all.
SO they'll probably be spouting out inside jokes the entire time.
And I won't understand any of them. Eh.
Maybe I am just over thinking this b/c I am stupid. IDK. :/

AH YES! Better news that ISN'T depressing.
I sent my portfolio to SCAD today.
I really want to get in SO bad.
I know it costs A LOT and I am pretty stupid for wanting to go there.
but. I think it would do me a lot of good...
and I actually want to improve in my Photography.
I mean, don't get me wrong... YHC is awesome.
But the fact they only have one photography class probably
isn't going to get me anywhere too fast.
And I actually want to be challenged in the thing I love.

and I could keep on.
but I won't bore you with my endless ramble on life.

Dear faith, where have you gone?

2009-02-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

So my life is like a bi polar roller coaster.
I have some days where I am perfectly fine.
Those days where you don't need anyone or anything
to help you stand strong in what you are doing.
And I have the days where I feel like I am breaking down.
Where I feel alone. And everything bad shows itself.

Today... is a bad day.
But today is also a realization day.
I stopped going to church in September, again.
I mean honestly, I don't think I need a church to help me do individual
worship to what I believe in.

But as all humans do. I have been on some spiriling hill down.
I stress myself out... and I have been putting in my faith in other people's hands.
And blaming God for every single thing gone wrong.
I'm not saying I am unique for this; I know it's something most people fight daily.
But I have been doing it for the past five months.

Basically I can't begin to describe where or who I am right now except:
I'm a confused individual trying to find out who I am and
where my place in the world is right now.

And because I suck at describing what I am feeling,
here's a song. (I'm in the fighting all the people to get back to the guy in the white clothes stage)

Tell my mother, tell my father..

2009-01-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

I've done the best I can
To make them realize,
This is my life.
I hope they understand.
I'm not angry, I'm just saying,
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

update? update? where for art thou update?
oh yes!

First off. I love Katie Bishop.
Especially when she spits things like these out:
"Experience is a bitch, but it works."
and when she makes up quotes and doesn't even know it:
"I want to change. Not I think I have to change, or because people think I should change, but because I want to."

and oh yes.
so pretty much.
my life is flushed/cleaned out.
Speaking of experience being a bitch... life is a bitch, sometimes.
mainly because...
unfortunately some people didn't want to leave mine so easily.
Whatever. I have to be strong this time.
And I will be.

Hmn.

2009-01-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went,
you can curse the fates,

but when it comes to the end,
you have to let go.

Good movies are hard to find.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

if you haven't went to see it, you definitely should.

I have never personally been a huge fan of Brad Pitt...
but seriously. This rates my top 5 movies.

And seriously, I have no real updates.

I "love" this semester. :]
Economics. Local Area Studies. Yearbook. Band. HUZZAH!
Oh yeah, and I get to go see Hairspray LIVE Tuesday! wooo!
and for the 3rd update.
I am keep a booklist of books for me to read:

Wicked Series - Gregory Maguire
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - F. Scott Fitzerald
The Host - Stephenie Myer

and whatever suggestions anyone else has. :]

Hello 2009.

2009-01-02T18:13:00.000-08:00

Goals:

* Maintain a boyfriend. (haha. lame)

* Graduate and get into SCAD.

* Stop drinking Soda completley. (easy enough)

* Work hard on my YouTube project: http://www.youtube.com/user/skofoshoyo

*Read over 110 books.

*Meet over 200 new people.

*Make a noticeable enough difference with Photography.

*Get back into piano.

*Drink 22 different types of coffee.

*Get a Job and stop being lazy.

*Quit trying to makye my life better by deleting and pushing people away.

*Become a better friend.

*Ask less and listen more.

*Take more chances.

*Save up enough money to go to Ireland for a couple weeks by the summer of 2010.

- - -Those are my top goals. and I think I will succeed them.

Random Junk.

2008-12-27T00:54:00.000-08:00

- - - Sam bought me a star named Skye Butler. It lays in the Virgo Constellation. (:

- - -David Cook's (from the latest American Idol) Cd is really good.

- - -It's 3:55 AM and I can't sleep. Go figure.

- - -I finished all of Eun & Ben's Wedding pictures. woooo!

- - -I have a crap load of homework to do, and I don't want to do it.

- - -I also really want to get to work on cleaning my room, but I probably won't do it.

- - -I want wine gums. Really bad. haha.

- - -Watching a Siberian Husky roll around on the ground trying to get comfortable is pretty amusing.

T-t-t-t-t-that's all folks.

Holidays! Yayyyy!

2008-12-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been in the christmas mood really? I mean... idunno i haven't had that "christmas feeling" one usually gets around... well. 2 days before Christmas. haha... oh well... maybe it'll come soon? If not... I can always turn to Southpark to make me happy. :) Happy Hanukkah!! :D And while I am speaking of nukkah's.... uhm. Happy Kwanzaa as well! :DD You know what. Just so I don't sound like I am being racistttt.... lets just go with the publicly correctness of saying... Happy Holidays! But no. Then again. I am a rebel. So. I will say it how I wish to say it. Merry effin' Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight. xD

Eun's Wedding.

2008-12-20T01:59:00.000-08:00

Eun and Ben's Wedding was simply fantastic. :) And regardless to how crappy the lighting was, and the fact it rained... I actually got decent shots. yay! :D The only negative part of the night that I actually can complain or would want to complain about was... dundundun.... getting battery acid on my hands and in my eye. boooo. It kinda hurt. hah. But otherwise, I had a blast. :D

Anyhow! :D

I've already picked some of my favorite shots, as you can clearly see. :)))

woot!

2008-12-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

Hellz Yeah! Finals are finally effin' over for this semester. I am so sick of trig. Regardless to if I fail or pass that test: I am freakin' over it. hahah. I'm stoked. One semester left till I graduate! yayyyy! Oh yeah, and only one more day of school to endure until Christmas break! HUZZAH! ANYHOW.... so I went to one of Dakota's shows today! YAY! I miss him... and his shows.... today made me happy. I love shows... especially when they are as fantastic as it was tonight! Unfortunately, per usual... none of the Blairsville kids or anyone really came.... whatever. The people who missed it are lame. Period.

btw... I was randomly snooping blogs on one of the other blogging sites I am a member of.... and found this, and I like it for varies of reasons:

“There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

Yeah. I'm a boring person. What can I say?

T-t-t-th-th-that's all folks!

Starstruck...

2008-12-10T15:08:00.001-08:00

baby could you blow my heart up?

So I should totally be doing homework or helping my father right now.... but instead... I choose to write a blog, and sit here and sing lady marmalade and the time warp.... haha. Indeed It will be a fun all nighter night. But whatever. Tryouts for Into the Woods are on the 12th of January, and Erika is accompanying me. I'm stoked, and really hope that I get in. Literally. Like 2 weeks till the end of this semester... all I have to do is pass my Trig Final and life will be good. I'm so stoked for next semester! :DD No hardworking/pressing classes... and like 2 freebies. Well, not really freebies, I will still be working my butt off.... but doing things I actually like to do. haha. Yay! Economics. Local Area Studies. Yearbook. and Band. And I am good at history.... so yes! :DD

Band Concert Tommorrow Night. 7pm. Cleggs Auditorium. It should be good.
Plus... I sit first chair! :DDD

Me, Hillary, and several other people from Trig are planning an Alice in Wonderland Photoshoot.... for the spring. It's going to be Wicked awesome. :D Speaking of photoshoots, I need to get ready for Eun & Ben's Wedding. Ah!!! I love Photography.... but dang. Shooting weddings stresses me out. haha. Plus it's at the courthouse and cobbs mill(whatev it's called now) and the lighting suck in both places.... oh well. I'm prepared! :DD At least I get to miss school for it. haha.

We're watching Dracula in Krieger's class. We've only watched like 15 min so far.... but it's pretty good. Keanu Reeves. :D Enough said. :P Dang, I'm really going to miss that class.... she's a dandy teacher, and I've learned a lot....as for my other classes, not so much.

mmmm..... boys suck. Whatever. I'm over it all. PEACE.

ahhhhhh!!!!!! SIX Days till like 3 weeks of Christmas Break!
I CAN"T WAIT! :D

okay. done. :D LATER

Eff it.

2008-12-07T19:57:00.001-08:00

I'm totally over being nice, now.
I hate it when it seems you go miles for certain individuals...
and they will barely even go an inch for you.
Best friends? Right.
Whatever. I'm done.

...

2008-12-02T23:07:00.001-08:00

Honestly, I feel like screaming right now.

Am I sleeping with my eyes wide? Am I alone?

2008-11-27T09:11:00.001-08:00

"Am I staring into bright lights?
Have I gone home?
I must be dreaming when I'm sitting here
at someone else's door.
Am I sleeping with my eyes wide?
Won't you let me know."

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! :D I hope it's a good one!

For me...
This holiday is more bittersweet than I actually thought it was going to be. Things have changed... we're not even having a proper family dinner this year. My brother, sister in law, and father are working. My grandfather and everyone are upset due to the fact it's our first holiday without my Grandmother. It's just all around sad, and I hate it.

Exactly one year ago I was the happiest person ever. I was in Chicago for the parade, I didn't have a lot of issues regarding boys or people or anything to worry about, and I was with the most amazing people ever living up life the way any teenager really should. Blah. I miss past times and I hope things start looking up today. If not, I fear even more for the Christmas Holidays.

But on a more optimistic note, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for what you have. And God only knows how grateful I am for every person in my life right now. So things are a tad rough with my mom being away all week and only coming home on some weekends, but at least we do get to see her. I'm thankful that I even have a loving, supportive family and friends too, that support me with every decision I make. Whether it is a mistake or not. I love you guys. A whole bunch! :]

when emotions mix.

2008-11-25T23:21:00.000-08:00

:DDD
DDD:

Hmn. haha.
So basically I am really, really, REALLY happy and stoked right now. First of all! Thanksgiving! 2 days away. Yay for food! Yay for being a fatty! :DD It all makes me happy, so whatever. Second of all! I'm going to see Relient K and Family Force 5 in concert Saturday with Erika B! :DDD Yayyy! Third of all! Christmas is coming up! :DDDDDDDDD! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! :DDD hahahah. Okay, so maybe just the music and once again food and.... just the feeling it gives me in general... and of course the fact Jesus was born on that! And just! :D Yay! Okay. Done being a spazz in 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. ZEROOO.

but for my contradicting mood swing, I am kinda annoyed. haha. I mean, it's obviously over a stupid reason... but you know those times when it seems like everyone calls you amazing to your face? I guess it gets old, and the you really realize that only a couple of them actually mean it... but the others. eh. not so much. I don't know. I just hate being called something I'm not. And this isn't me having a low esteem... for real. I just think I'm an average person no better than anyone else.... and I wish that's how some people in my life would view me as, I guess.

Anyhow. Doesn't Matter!
BACK TO HAPPINESSSS!
wooooooo!

okay. yeah. I'm Lame. Later.